wah. now i know what non-progressive means. imagine being stuck at the same chapter for 2 hours. either 1. the chapter is really tough. or 2. i'm really slow. probably both anyway. so agonizing. okay but think of the day when all this is over. i'll be a happier person. hahhaha!! yay!! i feel so exhilarated thinking about it!!!! :D:D:D:D:D
whew.. it was a long day today. went to school at 845 in the morning to revise for my french quiz. well it was okay except i couldn't understand the oral passage. lol. went fusionopolis after school to have dinner with my care group. on my way back home, as i was approaching the lift lobby, a lady who was a few steps ahead of me got into the lift and the lift door closed. i would've half-expected her to wait a while or perhaps check for passengers. it didn't bother me really, only made me reflected a lil on our fast-paced society where nobody waits for no one no more. time's so precious right? i mean in our corporatized nation time and money are synonymous. everyone wants to get things done at the snap of the fingers. this isn't really a problem i think. what's wrong with being efficient? i like efficiency too (possibly a product of our societal system).

well problem arises when the more abled gets well ahead while the rest of the society lags behind, and this gap only gets bigger. i've heard and read arguments on this from the democracy point of view and how society cannot advance in such a way and the system is dysfunctional (?). yea that's probably true too. but i'm more concerned about the soullessness of people living in sucha world. when everyone is so geared toward their own world and problems and their individual lives, we don't really have the time to care for our fellow brothers or sisters no more. right. no wonder people living sucha densely populated city can feel isolated and lonely. no wonder suicide rate has gone up. sure. this is by no means the only factor but certainly a contributive one.

but let's not be cynical about life and society. there's hope. i've hope. i still believe that amidst the decadence (too strong a word?) we can still see God moving and He is moving. people don't have to lead such soulless lives. i choose not to. i've to clarify at this point that i'm not good enough to judge the society or people or anything. i don't think im here to judge but i can help a teeeeny weeeeny bit in improving my life and those lives around me. just a teeny bit.
supposed to be studying french now.. but decided to slip away from the busyness of work and blog.

i was looking at my reflection in my other computer screen and i noticed huge bulging eye bags, possibly the result of lack of sleep and overdose of caffein. *shakes head* me and you, we all lead such hard lives. when i was 12 taking my first major exam, i remembered my teacher lecturing us, telling us that this exam was of paramount importance. it came and it passed. then come the 2nd major exam and again we were led to believe that that was the most crucial exam of our lifetime. it came and it went. 3rd major exam... and the story repeats itself.

amidst these counseling sessions, there seems this dominant idea that after this major exam my life would get easier. my parents tried to encourage me at times or at least incentivize me to work hard with this notion that once i get the cert that proves my ability, i will lead a good life, a life of comfort, a better life than the one they are living now. *holds up big cross sign* didn't think so.

each time we graduate, we are really graduating into another chapter of busyness and stress. nah i'm not a pessimist, neither am i sad now or something. i'm really saying life isn't going to get any easier than it is now. and that each of us have our own hard lives. a student has his own stress. a blue-collar worker has his own troubles, a white-collar worker has his own regrets, a mother has her own issues. this was what i saw when i was in the mrt on my way to school this morning. if we look outside our troubles once in a while and think a little for others, we might realize that our little stress and problems are indeed little.